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Frustrated Days

I don't know where to start this. I mean, which part of my life where the depression had an upper hand over other emotions. And putting me further in the pain is the fact that no one has anything to do with this or I could have shared some of the blame with them. It is just because I didn't have any job with me and not by any means it has anything to do with, me not able to make any money..

So Depression or Frustration started when I passed from the college, not really the way you expect when you hear the word passed. I mean some way you have to get out of the college, by the time normal students finish the course the college will relieve you though you may be so blessed with many arrears(Thank God supplementary papers got such a great synonym. Even though the situation is horrible, sounds great when you utter it). So I have had arrears. As a matter of fact I still have it in my credit.

When I was studying in CET there were ample opportunities to grab good jobs. It would have been better if I used ' when I was in CET ' rather than using hard words like 'studying'. It is said that opportunities won't knock the door twice. I didn't even let it knock once. Being there in the haven I didn't have room for any serious thought. But when I got out and with no hope of world's sudden end in the near future, I was put in some serious thought. Even if you are with friends being out of the college premises will make you serious, though it was bit too late to be so..
I could do nothing but let the frustrations creep in


P.S: I got a job now. At present I'm working in Acrodelon

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നിശബ്ദത

                        മുത്തശ്ശൻ ക്ലോക്കിൽ മണി പന്ത്രണ്ട് അടിച്ചു. മഴ പെയ്തു ഒഴിഞ്ഞിട്ടുണ്ട്. ഇറ്റു വീഴുന്ന വെള്ളതുള്ളികളും ഇടയ്ക്കുള്ള ചീവീടിന്റെ ശബ്ദവും ഒഴിച്ചാൽ ചുറ്റിലും എങ്ങും നിശബ്ദത. എല്ലാവരും ഉറങ്ങി തുടങ്ങി.   ഒരാൾ മാത്രം ഉറക്കമൊഴിച്ച് കാത്തിരിപ്പുണ്ട്. പൂർണ്ണമായ നിശബ്ദതക്കു വേണ്ടി. ഇന്നത്തെ ജോലി അതീവ ശ്രദ്ധയോടെ ചെയ്യേണ്ടത് ആണ്, അതിനു പരിപൂർണ്ണ നിശബ്ദത അയാള്ക്കു ആവശ്യമുണ്ടു. ശബ്ദം ഉണ്ടാക്കാതെ അയാൾ കുറച്ചു കൂടെ കാത്തിരുന്നു. പതിയെ ചീവിടുകളും ഉറക്കത്തിലായെന്നു തോന്നുന്നു.  ഒരു ശബ്ദവും കേൾക്കാനില്ല. സന്തോഷത്തോടെ അയാൾ എഴുന്നേറ്റു. തന്റെ പക്കലുള്ള ചെറിയ വെട്ടം അയാൾ തെളിയിച്ചു, ചുറ്റിലും നോക്കി. ഇല്ല അപകടം ഒന്നും ഇല്ല. കാലത്തു നോക്കി വച്ചിരുന്ന വീടിനടുത്തേക്ക് അയാൾ പതിയെ ചെന്നു. പതുങ്ങി ഇരുന്നു കുറച്ചു നേരം അയാൾ  കാതോർത്തു. ശബ്ദമൊന്നും കേൾക്കുന്നില്ല. എല്ലാവരും നല്ല ഉറക്കത്തിലാണ്. ജനവാതിൽ തുറന്നു നേരത്തെ ഇളക്കി മാറ്റിയിരുന്ന ജനൽ കമ്പികളുടെ വിടവിലൂടെ ശ്രദ്ധയോടെ അയാൾ അകത്തു കടന്നു. ഇരുണ്ട വെട്ടത്തിൽ അലമാര ഇരിക്കുന്ന സ്ഥലം ലക്ഷ്യമാക്കി പമ്മി പമ്മി അയാൾ നടന്നു. ഇനിയാണ് ശ്രദ്ധ വേണ്ടത്.