back to square one

What ever ways I have tried to redeem myself have gone in vain. En Route to this point of my life has been a blend of fortuitous events rather than intentional ones.

Last night I tried to picturize myself, say, after ten years in a realistic manner. It seemed quite dark. I could see myself cursing for the chances I have spilled. I hoped I would revive after having serious thoughts for the first time in my life, apart from day dreaming about becoming Bill Gates. Nothing really happened. I was back to my usual self. EasyGoing, Carefree and lazy.

Nothing could define me in a better way.
Back to Square one. "Chankaran pinneyum thenginmel Thanne"