how to look at a girl

It was a nice Sunday evening and I was spending some quality time with her. We were having snacks from her favorite hotel. We looked for a private space but couldn’t find any, so were made to sit in a corner in the highly crammed hotel.

As we were eating she complained that someone was staring at her. There wasn’t any point in creating an issue there, I asked her to let it go. She didn’t like the way I responded and was having a cold look on her face. I wasn’t sure if she was suggesting that I should question the person who did the blatant act. The point to be brave is always good (especially when you are with a girl). But the anonymity of the person behind my back scared me. If he turned out to be a heavily built one, it would have an opposite effect. I might not be left in a state that would let me do braver deeds later in life. More over we are from the country where Mahatma Gandhi lived!! So I tried to console her. But she was in no mood to let it go that easily and was going to question him. Some how I distracted her from it and we continued our talks.

After a while our anonymous man left. She said he was still staring at her, I was so busy with my Samosa that I missed him. She wasn’t going to leave the topic.

"All men are same, you people always stare at unwanted places“ She said.

What? (I didn’t like her generalizing it) How can you put the blame on rest of us for this?

How do you look at a girl then?

This was much like a question one faces during an engineering ragging section. But you can’t give a similar reply to a girl. There isn’t any point in denying the fact though. I tried to make it as mild as possible.

I look at a girl, you know, much like watching a sunset or a beautiful picture.

Is that so?

I looked at her face. she wasn’t satisfied with my answer.

Ok. I don’t know about the rest. I start with the face.

And?

Don't say that you people never want us to look at you. Why do you waste so much money and time dressing up then?

That is not an excuse for any kind of staring you people give us.

I looked around. We were at a safe distance from eavesdropping ears. But the place however wasn’t safe enough to have a discussion of that kind.

Ok what ever. It is getting late, we will talk about this later.

I paid the bill and we came out of the hotel. We walked in silence for a while. It changed the mood and we didn’t talk about the topic further. After having some pep talks we left for our respective perches.

Some other issues took this topic away from our phone calls during the following days. Even that didn’t help me escape having an introspection. This wasn't a test about the class where you belong, among good boys or bad ones. It was more about the curiosity to know how do I actually look at a girl?

Till that day what ever be the way that I looked at a girl there wasn't any thing that is deliberate in it. There wasn’t any method or plan, it was in a natural way. Mind was directed on its own accord. After that when ever a girl appeared before me there was a smile on my face. I was trying to know how my eyes traveled when I see a girl.

What I said to her is partially correct, watching a girl is much like watching a picture. Generally we are in quest for finding beauty in anything we see, so end up watching or it is better to say the our eyes go for, what that is more beautiful than the rest.

Having someone close will change the way we look at the opposite sex. It brings in some nobility and we tend to be more chivalrous. We wont be gazing in a lecherous way atleast when (not if)they are with us.

After being made to go through such thoughts I couldn’t help but wonder how girls might be returning such favor to us. They might just be seeing some heads dangling in mid air or at least this is what they are trying to make us believe.

Watching or scanning (what ever the name is) a girl is almost the same with the men, it is a basic instinct. Girls do have such instincts as well. But most often they try to hide it with the fear of getting taint in their image. But I’m sure they won’t mind giving furtive glances that won't sully their reputation. I can't possibly say they are capable of giving same level of staring like what a boy does when he see a girl.

And in any case if they start giving some serious staring (not an angry one!!), how will a boy react to it ? Will that be a reaction mixed with some kind of perplexity or delighted that a girl is looking at you or may even feel bit awkward ?
I don't know..